Sunday, October 22, 2017

Post Apocalyptic and Really Messy

Vacation at Camp. It's been a yearly thing since  1995. Along the way, we've missed a few years and not fully enjoyed others due to illness, water troubles, financial strife, career worries and The Great Red Squirrel Invasion of '09. Hey, I was not always this totally enlightened by cancer person. You know the stuff. Yours may differ somewhat, but it's what comprises any life - the mundane, the brutal, the tiny moments of joy and wonder. And this year is no different.

We are native Floridians, the Mikester and I. He was born in the hospital less than 5 miles up the road. As such, hurricanes and stormy weather are in our DNA. And, we have been so shockingly lucky, for all our 50+ years. We endure decades of close calls - endless watches and warnings and seasons. We lose trees, fencing and experience minor damages to our home and property, but nothing like the Homewrecking Hurricane Whore Irma.

She's a pro-slut. Like any vagabond whore, she wanders about aimlessly for a period of time, slinking about and flirting with our emotions. She seems to be choosing her target with a slow malice. Finally, she just decides to hump the entire state of Florida (and parts of others too, on her way out of town). The bitch is insatiable, wanton with her heated destruction. She destroys lives, homes and entire landscapes. Power is out for days, weeks, a month in some places.

AND, she decides to hone her slut radar more or less on our city while we are 1700 miles north, with our home unboarded, unattended and our kitties tended by a petsitter. Our home is left open, vulnerable and ripe for screwing.

Irma reminds me of my "cousin" (by marriage only), Mona. More about her in my other book, which I swear is upcoming. Anyway, all you need to know of her now is: lying, scheming, skanky whore that steals the first love of my life, the first boy I will ever kiss, thus forever destroying my ability to trust my own gender.

It all works out for us though, because we are lucky in life to many degrees. So yeah, an enormous tree, already dry-humped by Tropical Storm Gabrielle in 2001, falls onto Mikey's shed, destroying our yard completely but sparing our house. 20 more feet West and we'd be now living in the RV, fighting with the insurance company and reconstructing our home. I DO want those marble countertops, but not like that.

Anyway. The thing is, just when you want to give up on humans and search for an escape hatch from this shit storm of humanity - life can surprise you in wonderful and unexpected ways.

One neighbor boards our house. Another takes in our furbabies. Many others police our home, send us pictures and videos, and report the situation with daily updates.

Upon our return, our new neighbor helps Mike fix his roof, and cut the tree. Moonpie Marty does chainsaw duty. During the storm, Davin boards and unboards the house. Kaylin, Sandy and Brian take in our kitties and keep them safe during the storm. They throw out our bad food and make it all better.

 Everyone is safe, although pummeled. We are going to be okay.