Friday, February 19, 2016

What a difference a Year makes

There is a Seinfeld episode where Jerry asks, “I don’t want to be responsible. Whenever something goes wrong, they ask, ‘Who is responsible?’ I don’t want to be that person!”

Yesterday, the stomach flu grips me. After pulling an all-nighter, I’m in the shower, preparing my dumb ass for work. In my former pre-cancer life, phoning in sick just was never a good option – sure I could, but not without lots of consequences – tons more work piling up, stress about being out and working much harder upon return to catch up on the hamster wheel of family law shenanigans. It’s a vicious cycle of stupid. For years I will work while sick.

It’s obvious now of course, that this is not the best idea for supporting the body as it tries to heal. But old habits are hard to break. After my scalding shower, Mike gives me the side eye and orders me back to bed. My mouth opens automatically to protest with my old, familiar rant about work ethics and how much I’m needed, only to realize that...well, that’s no longer true. I’m like a nice accessory. It’s good to have me around, but not absolutely necessary to complete the outfit.  

And I’ve never been happier to be so utterly non-essential.

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Listen to your Ass


Okay, Okay, last post about my aching ass issues.

You will be proud of me today. Working on a side project at my office, closing out old files. The files are voluminous and very heavy. Despite my obeying all the rules of ergonomics and taking it slower than usual, after only 2 hours, I am forced to burn a time-out. My back begins to spasm in a very pissed off kinda way, warning me to stop. 

And I do stop, go home and rest it on the heating pad, ignoring impulses to lift laundry baskets and other such chores. 

I perform some simple, gentle stretches for a back in spasm. And they work! It feels so much the better, though my paycheck is not. It's a good reminder - pay attention to your body and what it's telling you. 

Monday, February 1, 2016

A return to my new normal...sans Mets fears for now

One last thing about today, lest you consider me FIXATED. I am.

My massage therapist exclaims that my left hip area is "kinda fucked up". Okay then, if that's your medical opinion. 

She works me for 90 minutes straight and all along I feel the spasms, tweaks and shooting pains. But, it's a good pain. 

By the end, I leave able to walk normally and feeling so much better. PIYO, BYE BYE O! Listen to me, fellow old farts - do not try to do hard stuff at first. You will end up hurting yourself.

Arthritis-ridden, overweight and giddy with delight

So. My onco  eyes me thoughtfully for about 1 second before telling me she thinks that my hip pain and other joint pains are due to my recent 20 pound weight gain, inactivity and chemo/age-induced arthritis. And maybe those plank poses didn't help. 

She will see me in 4 months and expects me to be 10 pounds lighter then. I want to please her by being a size 4 but we'll take it slow. Less Sake, more walkie. 

No scans for now. Need to start walking, taking Glucosamine and taking off the weight. Off to get a massage on the sore parts and exercising. Getting old is great.

Huge ass, huge problems

Last night I break out my massage ball and work the butt muscle (yes I have one) and left hip. Instantly, relief. Could my symptoms have been the ill-timed, overzealous attempt at all those planks and down dogs with PIYO? 

Maybe. It does feel better today. 

Or, maybe it's just because my ass is so large now. And not in that good J-Lo way. Don't judge me bitches, I'm working on it. 

Last night after my self-ass therapy, we watch Grease Live, which was good fun. Mike is impressed again with my useless knowledge of song lyrics. 

I can still remma lemma lemma di diggity dig de dog with the best of them.