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Sunday, January 31, 2016

Never thought I'd be hoping FOR arthritis

See my onco tomorrow for my maintenance appt. It gets stepped down gradually, but I need to go for 5 years. Now it is down to twice a year only. I hate going there for obvious reasons.

Anyway, need to report my first mets scare to her, which will result in concerned doctor face and bone scan at the least, a PET scan at the most. Oh, that stooopid song....I DON'T want to meet the Mets. And that fucking WAITING again for results. Sadness, despair, fear. Thought it was over.

It probably is not Mets. There is that Tamoxifen thing. Had a hard fall on that hip and it has always been stiff. Possible injured it doing Yoga. It could be simple old arthritis. Or bursitis, a pinched nerve, a pulled muscle. My foot bones hurt, as do my knee joints, and they have ever since chemo. is really unlikely. But. 

A wise BC pal told me never to fear scans--they are impartial and our friend. After all, Scans do not make cancer, they just show it. Simple. If it is there, then it's there already, and maybe has been all along your supposed cure. Bone mets are very treatable and usually respond well to meds. You can live for decades with them being held in remission, a pretty normal life. This is what they say. And better to find them soon, to start the eviction.

It's a bad time to be out of Xanax.