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Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Ghosts of Chemo Past

So you know what my last Christmas was like. 

This year, it's better. Taking time off work to sort myself out. 

There's loads of strenuous physical activity, which feels good. Cleaning out closets, reorganizing everything for maximum efficiency, and feng shu-ing the living shit out of everything I come in contact with. Donating literal trunk loads of household items to charity. Mike finds the most incredible things on the street and we donate those too. Some of the biggest items sold there have been from Mike's keen eye for street treasure. 

Nailing down that at-home transcription work, paying bills, trying to figure a way out of this debt. Hating feeling so physically disconnected from spirit and body. For fleeting moments feeling a hint of my former kick-ass self but always losing it. Changing the part in my hair, putting on Pinterest-worthy makeup for no reason at all. 

And...the cooking. Rich, decadent, small portions but all excellent. 

Eggs baked in avocado, with broiled buttered rib eye steaks. Deviled egg shooters. Roasted pork loin wrapped in thick bacon slices, with roasted potatoes, cooked low and slow. 15 bean soup. Homemade protein bars. Creamy tomato soup from scratch. Dirty Alfredo. 

I'm trying to conjure magic everywhere.  It cannot be done without potions.