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Saturday, December 12, 2015

Channeling Al Pacino

In one of the Godfather sequels, Al Pacino has a great line that is something like "Just when I think I'm out....they PULL ME BACK IN!"  

So goes my career in the law field. 

I have a gig, part-time, as a receptionist. It's one of the best jobs ever - easy, no-stress, lots of smiling and chatting up clients, counsel, visitors. I refill the candy jar and straighten the magazines. I polish the reception area and keep it tidy. Sometimes, if I'm bored, I will take to Pinteresting and Ebaying, and playing Christmas music. What a splendid, amazing, beneficial change from my former career of unending terror. 

That is, until I agree to work till the end of the year in the back office. 

Ugh. I've been here before....stress, deadlines, attitudes from a plethora of individuals. Dealing with huge insurance companies, many other lawyers and doctors.

I hate it. 

I hate too, that the reason I'm there is because someone else got let go. Someone I really like, that has been through a hell of a lot of horror this past year. Boxing up her things makes me feel sick, and traitorous, even though she would bear me absolutely no ill will.

So, maybe it's easy to understand my absolute disinterest and reluctance to perform like my former show-dog self. What's funny is...I could if I wanted to. It's there, inside me, that ability. But to unleash it fully would mean my own ruin. There is not enough money in that building to convince me to take it on.

Yes, I know, I'm such an asshole!  After all, it's not like this is anything useful to society, or worthy, or anything to be truly proud of.

Here's the deal - after cancer, you will know what you want to do and what you have no desire to spend time doing. Me, I'd rather be doing my PIYO, redecorating my house, napping with the kitties and the Mikester, or enjoying the weather.

So, January comes around -- unlike Al, I'm OUT.