And to my surprise, found myself just a little bit jealous and sad. Since it was my choice to not return to this job, these feelings caught me off guard and left me anxious.
The fact that the office did not cave into a sinkhole in my absence had something to do with it. Everything is running smooth and by the numbers. It's annoying and comforting at the same time - I really loved working with Nevin and the great working relationship we had. So it's good that he's happy with the replacement. She's wonderful. I'm struggling to find a decent job and failing. The old ego is taking a blow.
Some Buddhist book gives sage advice - it says to pretend to be a cork floating in the ocean, and not fight the riptides and currents, lest you go under. Better to ride the waves and not expend energies needlessly. That office is no place that needs me anymore, and certainly it's nowhere I wish to be. Maybe the horizon will unveil a safe, sustaining island soon.