Search my blog

Sunday, July 19, 2015

Am I Crazy or is this Chemotherapy

The first time you have chemotherapy, you will understand what it feels like to be in an asylum. It's a contrast of physical, mental and spiritual extremes that must be close to madness. 

There is a fine horror flick called "Session 9", that was filmed at the abandoned Danvers Mental Hospital. It's truly frightening, deeply disturbing, with themes of entropy, isolation and hopelessness, not to mention the deranged killer hiding in the shadows. There is no light, and the tunnels and rooms are steeped in gloom. The ruins are loaded with long-forgotten rotting medical debris--rusty wheelchairs, mildewed and semi-burnt medical records, dubious looking instruments. There are no special effects, no CG monsters because none are needed. It gets through. 

I have a difficult chemo, and do not share the true horror of it with my friends till much later. I barely make it through my last round and only do so for my husband. The whole time though, Session 9 and Danvers keeps running through my dreams. Sometimes I escape, sometimes I don't. I never see the thing that gets me but it somehow surrounds me.