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Monday, June 1, 2015

Nausea, I hardly knew ya

Before BC, I can count the times in my entire life that I am sick to my stomach. It's a low number and mostly from my wild party years and too much of the sweet nectar. I miss those innocent, intentionally harmful dumbass moments.

The nausea begins immediately after the first chemo, and will not stop until 6 months later, and only after chemo ends. It is unrelenting and mostly unresponsive to medications. It ebbs, but it is always with me to some degree. With medication and diet, it stays down to a lower level but I always feel sick. Anything and everything aggravates it - walking, driving, eating, drinking, seeing any kind of food anywhere. I try everything - ginger gum, ginger ale, saltines, eating with plastic utensils, and wearing Sea-bands. It stubbornly mocks my efforts at exorcism. But the absolute worst thing is the smell factor.

It's 7 months after my last chemo, and there are still things I cannot even think about without feeling the stomach flips. Vanilla scented trash bags, citrus moisturizer, any kind of chicken soup, (thanks hospital for serving that constantly during my treatment), rice mixes, etc. Writing this is making it happen.

Still, I have to say that if I never recur, it will have been worth it of course. I can only hope it was worth it in the short run, because it scares me to think of ever having to do it again.