Maybe worse than chemo is the utter lack of control I know have over my own life and body. It is making me nuts. From a normal existence to an unemployed, sickly cancer patient in 10 days! I thought I had control over all...was very career oriented, involved in complex cases where my talents were appreciated and welcomed.
Nowadays my biggest decisions are--Jello or dry toast, how many naps can I take, and hey, wonder what books they have at Goodwill today! And you know, for now, it is okay. The less I cling to who I was, the better it is. The energy required to mourn my former life is too costly.